Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
