): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
