Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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