i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
