Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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