I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
