i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
