I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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