Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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