I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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