so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
