a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
