the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
