There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
ttyl tear gas
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I would fuck him just for his dog
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
