white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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