Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
