I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
