I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Randomize
