Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
