I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
