okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
