oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
