My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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