Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
