she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize