No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
