tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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