Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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