party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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