If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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