Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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