Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
How naked do you want me to be?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
