His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
