It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
