Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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