ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
