Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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