my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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