This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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