What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Randomize
