ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
