i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
When are your genitals available?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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