I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
