glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
