youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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