I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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