All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
