I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
