last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize