i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
