party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
