Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
