who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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