Where did you get a picture of my penis
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
