dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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