i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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