i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
