i don't like sucking hair
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
