You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
