Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
