there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
