Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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